| CINCO Y SEIS DE MAYOOOOO...naise... |
[10 May 2006|01:43pm] |
Wow, it's been a really crazy weekend...let me share it with you!
My cousin Zach had a Cinco de Mayo party. Now, his parties are usually pretty big and get a little out of hand, but this one was out of control. He somehow mananged to hire a mariachi band and rent out a margarita machine, and I think word got out about how FREAKING AWESOME that was. And even though his apartment's courtyard is not small by any means, there were SO MANY PEOPLE THERE that it was NEAR TO IMPOSSIBLE to walk around. But it was completely worth it....because it was a DANCE PARTY (and any friend of mine knows how I feel about dance parties). And I think every gay guy in the tri-county area showed up to this party, because I have never seen so many completely white guys (that are just reverse oreo cookies in disguise) that could dance the panties right off of you in my entire life. Good thing I wasn't wearing any, oooooooh! (Just kidding). So after my panties fell off a sufficient amount of times and I danced and dropped it like it was hot and harlem shaked (shook?) and did the snake until I couldn't feel feelings anymore, I left that party absolutely dripping in my own sweat (and other people's sweat, eeeuuuwww...) and went straight to bed.
Then tonight, a friend of mine invited me to come with him to his Co-op's bi-annual HUGE, GIANT, oh-my-god-I-can't-move-there's-so-many-people-OH-GOD-I-CAN'T-BREATHE party. Now, I've never been to a Co-op party, so I didn't really know what to expect. I've always heard that Co-op'ers are absolute STONERS and smoke more weed than a forest fire, and this place was no exception. I came home just now and I had to change out of my clothes because even though I just got back from the party, I could smell the smell of weed smoke on myself. Yech.
At any rate, as my friend and I were walking into the Co-op (...which is SO COOL. It's not built like a standard apartment complex at all. It looks like a GIANT treehouse, or like those little interconnected huts from the movie Hook that the Lost Boys live in...you know what I'm talkin' 'bout!) all of a sudden I hear this crazy tribal drum beat. I'm thinking it's just someone playing some (very...weird...?) party music on a stereo or something, but as we draw closer to the courtyard, I see quite possibly the COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! There's swarms of people crowding around this group of seven or eight people that are dancing around and JUGGLING LIT TORCHES! But oh ho ho, that's not all, friends! Every member of this group of people was topless, including the four or five girls, and they had their entire upper bodies decorated in paint in all sorts of different colors. And they were dancing around to the beat of this awesome African tribal drum beat that someone was playing. So let me paint a picture for you: body painted-up, topless people juggling fire to drums! Absolutely amazing. No one could take their eyes away! And those that weren't dancing and JUGGLING FIRE, were BLOWING fire! As in, taking a mouthful of kerosene and blowing it into a lit torch. Freaking SWEET.
Once the spectacle was drawing to a close, my buddy told me he wanted to get some alcohol and he pretty much sprinted into the crowd and I lost him. At this point, I'm telling myself that although watching the fire jugglers/fire breathers was COMPLETELY worth the trip, that the rest of the night was going to suck, as I was lost in a crowd of possibly a THOUSAND (no joke, this place is HUGE) drunken hippies in the Lost Boys' giant treehouse of insanity. But then I decided the best thing for me to do would be to go hang out in my friend's Co-op suite. So I head down there and his living room is full of his suitemates (a suite is like a little condo that houses about ten or twelve people), and after I tell them that I lost my friend, they, right away, invite me to sit down and hang out with them. So this actually leads to HOURS of me talking with this group of complete strangers and laughing until my voice is hoarse and having a total blast (and my friend came back after like, 30 minutes anyway).
So after a while, all of these random people and I just start talking about the giant windows that this suite has. They're these huge, tall windows that look out into the middle of the Co-op and as we start watching so many drunken people walking by and laughing at their antics, a few of us got an awesome idea. Someone grabs a marker and a pen and on a piece of paper on one side, we write "SHOW US YOUR TITS" on one side and "SHOW US SOME ASS" on the other side. So whenever someone walked by the windows outside, I would hold up the sign and everyone in the room would scream. Now, the crazy part isn't that we actually did this. The crazy part is that NINE OUT OF TEN PEOPLE THAT WALKED BY THE WINDOW ACTUALLY COMPLIED WITH THE SIGN. That is how crazy these Co-op hippies are. I have never seen so much ass (and might I add, ASS HAIR) in my entire life...I literally lost count, especially considering it was usually done in groups of three or four completely drunken idiot guys, pressing their cans against the window, each one leaving the window more greasy and disgusting than the last. We saw quite a few boobs though, and even a penis or four, but my god, I think I have fulfilled my Getting Mooned Quota for life. And the rest of the night, people kept recognizing me as "The Sign Girl" and mooning me/flashing me...which was all very good fun.
So the rest of the night can be summed up in a Foosball tournament followed by watching a bunch of guys jumping naked into a pool and running around, doing naked chin-ups, etc. So this party was basically like going on a trip to Naked Town. ...The happiest place on earth...? I ended up staying there until 5am when I decided it was prrrrrooooobably time for me to git. Speaking of which, the sun is starting to come up. Please forgive any egregious typos. I will fix them when I'm not in a sleep-deprived stupor.
So now I'm going to sleep...
...to sleep the smell of hippie off of me.
Goodnight.
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| Spring Break...Jesus. |
[18 Mar 2006|06:13pm] |
Gosh, how to begin about the past week!
For those that don't know, Texas Crew had our Spring Break Training this past week. Running six miles a day. Rowing four hours a day. Pretty much exercising from 6am to 2pm everyday with one or two short breaks for lunch and breakfast...but the running came into play because before AND after our intense rowing workouts, it was a mile and a half run to and from the hotel. I have never had such consistently sore muscles (especially in my LEGS) probably EVER.
Well, we left Austin at 6am last Sunday and I drove a solid SEVEN, count 'em, SEVEN hours all the way to Buttcrack, Louisiana. The drive felt really short just because all of us in the car basically talked the whole way, and I brought my Dane Cook CD's (heck yes!)
I drove there thinking it would be a decently nice indoor hotel, but when we got to Natchitoches (pronounced: Nackadish) it turned out to be a fabulous but somewhat rundown motel that doesn't give you conditioner. Ever. But that's okay, because when my coach said not to bother with doing our hair or makeup the entire week because we'd all look like crap anyway, he wasn't kidding. I tried to look relatively cute everyday (and the last day my fellow novice Cassie told me I dressed like an aerobic instructor everyday...?), but I and everyone there was in a constant state of sweatiness. I can't count the number of sweaty hugs I gave/received. But mostly gave...I care not of sweat. And I definitely jumped out of the boat into the disgusting urine-colored town river when none of the other novice girls would. And it was sweeeeet.
I hope I don't get TB.
But besides the horrible exercise-a-thons and the crappy room and board and the swimming in urine (albeit voluntarily), it was actually a really awesome trip. I really wish I'd kept track of the fun things that happened as they took place, because I don't think I'm going to remember them all.
One night we went bowling and just goofing around with all of my friends was just a total blast. I actually got quite a few strikes, which uhhhhh NEVER HAPPENS because I usually suck at bowling...? And my childhood infatuation with stealing boys' hats resurfaced during this trip, because all the guys felt that because we were leaving the Lone Star State, they all needed it invest in straw cowboy hats and wear them whenever possible. I actually still have one of their hats in my car. Whoops. And oh gosh, and we had a skit night the last night. That was absolutely ridiculous. To give a background, my friend Cizmar one of the most insane dancers I've ever met. So every time I ran into him and there was music playing, we would bust out dancing. Pretty much anywhere. In the parking lot of the hotel. In the middle of the bowling alley...? And I'm not a very modest dancer myself. We're talking hardcore (NOT dirty, thank you) what-the-fuck-are-you-doing dancing. And apparently everybody thought this was really entertaining because in the skit, where all of us novice girls basically ragged on every member of the varsity and novice men's squad, the grand finale was just me running out to the front of the "stage" (in the Days Inn parking lot) and yelling "Where's Cizmar?!" and busting some sweet moves. I also had another part in the skit wherein my "coach" basically beat the shit out of me which ended up with me getting a (REAL) welt on my forehead probably about an inch in diameter. And all of the novice guys retaliated by pelting us all with water balloons from the second floor.
But I totally got away without getting hit, which is wicked sweet.
So once all the joyous times were over, I drove the entire seven hours without ever switching drivers and I came home and CRRRASHED. But it was definitely the most physically demanding moment of my life, but man...it was fun.
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